A question to chew on
Is the map you’ve drawn for your life reflective of the landscape you should expect?
Summary
We tend to shape our expectations using the lives of those who came before us, assuming that a similar path will lead to a similar place. But the world has shifted in ways that make that assumption worth questioning.
Across health, happiness, relationships, and financial security, outcomes have declined, and for younger generations especially, a more intentional approach to life may matter more than it ever did before.
The map you inherited
Consider the vision you had for your life when you were young, perhaps in your mid-to-late teens. This is roughly the stage where we begin to aspire toward independence, and as part of that, we start thinking about what we want for our own lives. What kind of house or apartment do we want? Do we want to get married? Do we want to have children? What kind of job or resources do we want? As we consider these things, we often look at our parents, or other members of the preceding generation, to develop a sense of what we can realistically expect for ourselves, using their perceived outcomes to calibrate our own aspirations. In some cases we might seek to emulate them. In others, we might resolve to pursue something different. At first this thought process might be unconscious, but over time we all become aware of the tendency, and begin using the examples available to us to deliberately gauge what we want.The assumption we don’t question
Here’s what’s interesting. We consciously use perceived outcomes to calibrate our expectations, but we often unconsciously assume we can achieve those same outcomes by taking a similar approach. That assumption usually goes unchallenged. For example, if we decide to emulate our parents’ outcomes, we assume we can follow their approach. Go to a decent college, get decent grades, don’t take our career or health too seriously, and “things will work out,” an assurance many of us heard growing up. We’ll live in a beautiful home in the suburbs of a metropolitan area, with a wonderful marriage and family. Of course this is a generalization. But many of us unconsciously assume that the haphazard approaches we’ve inherited will produce the results we’ve come to expect, and that assumption is a problem. The world we’re navigating now is meaningfully different. Most of us sense this, though few of us have fully connected the dots.A world that has shifted
We hear that housing is less attainable than it has ever been. That student debt is higher. That mental and physical health outcomes are worse. We hear these things, but we don’t always connect them back to the expectations we’ve developed for our lives, or to the approach we’ve assumed will be effective. The world today presents objectively different, and in many ways more complex, challenges than it did for previous generations. That isn’t meant to diminish what earlier generations faced. It simply points to a fact: over the last twenty or so years, mental, physical, and economic outcomes have declined on average, which suggests that achieving the outcomes we’ve come to expect is materially more difficult.Most of us sense the world has shifted. Few of us have connected the dots.
What the data shows
The data, across several measures, tells a consistent story.Physical health
Obesity rates have risen sharply. Adult obesity climbed from around 30% in 2000 to over 40% today, with severe obesity more than doubling over the same period. One in five children and teenagers now meets the criteria. The contributing factors are familiar: more sedentary work, more processed food, less time for home cooking. The cumulative effect is a population more prone to chronic illness than any before it.Mental health
Depression has risen among adults, but the sharpest increases are among young people. Nearly 20% of teenagers report a major depressive episode each year. Suicide rates climbed 35% between 1999 and 2018, and serious psychological distress among young adults jumped over 70% in the decade leading up to 2017. This is no longer a fringe concern. It has become one of the defining public health challenges of our time.Happiness and life satisfaction
The U.S. has slipped steadily in the World Happiness Report, falling from 11th place in 2011 to a record-low 24th, its lowest ranking ever. Older Americans remain relatively content, ranking around 10th globally, while younger Americans rank around 62nd, a striking generational gap. The sense of freedom to make meaningful life choices, one of the strongest predictors of wellbeing, has dropped as well, with young Americans reporting they feel less free to shape their own lives.Relationships and social connection
Marriage has reached historic lows. Just 47% of U.S. households were married couples in 2025, down from about 66% in 1975 and roughly 71% in 1970. Friendship networks have thinned as well. The share of Americans reporting no close friends has quadrupled since 1990, from 3% to 12%, and nearly half now say they have three or fewer close friends. Loneliness, once considered a private struggle, has become a widespread demographic reality.Economic security
Median household income has grown only modestly after inflation since 2000, while home prices have far outpaced it. As a result, a typical home cost roughly four times the median household income in 2000; today it’s five to six times. Student debt has tripled since 2006, from around $500 billion to nearly $1.8 trillion. For many young adults, financial insecurity isn’t a passing phase. It’s the baseline.Where this leaves us
None of this is meant to suggest the situation is beyond hope. It’s simply worth acknowledging that if younger generations want to achieve the kinds of outcomes they grew up imagining, they will need to be more intentional about how they approach life than the generations before them had to be. This is a bitter pill. Accepting that up-and-coming generations are likely to experience worse life outcomes than those who preceded them, on average, is tough. Perhaps I’m wrong. I hope I’m wrong. But the indicators paint a clear picture: we must either resolve to do better or accept lesser outcomes. In truth, this is the realization that led me to create this page and share these thoughts. It’s my earnest hope that we can learn to do life better, together.Sources
- Adult and child obesity: CDC / NHANES
- Teen depression: SAMHSA / NSDUH; Suicide rates: CDC NCHS; Psychological distress: Twenge et al., APA
- Happiness rankings: World Happiness Report
- Marriage: U.S. Census Bureau; Friendship: Survey Center on American Life
- Housing affordability: Harvard JCHS; Student debt: Federal Reserve data
